Children Suffer in Silence…

Written by Litsa Bolontzakis on. Posted in My thoughts

litsa-bolontzakis

Children Suffer in Silence…

Our world has become so big and so complicated. As time goes on, the challenges of raising children – preparing them for the world while shielding their innocence – are growing greater and greater. As parents, we need to fortify our children against what is becoming an increasingly hostile environment.

Our children are so vulnerable and so innocent, and it’s sad that we have to chip away at that vulnerability and innocence to protect them from the aggression that surrounds them. We don’t want to instill fear in them, but what can we do to help them?

We start, when they’re very young, by telling them never to talk to strangers, never to take candy or anything else from people they don’t know – as if they could ever be totally secure with the people they may already know…

Communication is critical, and one of my concerns is the way our children entertain themselves today. Electronic toys and games are designed to keep them busy, but, at the same time, they isolate children.

At a time in the lives of our young ones when we have to help build their communication skills, instead we give them the tools to isolate themselves, and soon we realize that we have no idea who our children are.

There is no communication, no interaction, no sharing of ideas and opinions. Why? Because we are tired, and we have no patience and no time to talk to and to listen to our children. Therefore, there’s no communication, only more isolation, and the end result can be disastrous.

It boggles my mind that parents and children in the same house often communicate with one another through electronic messages. Even adults would rather communicate with messages.

What happens, though, when we have to talk to each other? What happens when we have to convey a very important message to our children? If there hasn’t been good communication and interaction, then we’re more likely to get outbursts of anger, disinterest, and even more isolation.

What is communication, and what are its benefits? How many ways are there to communicate?

Communication is the process of conveying a message or meaning to establish a shared understanding to others.

We don’t just communicate with words; we communicate with our body movements, with our gestures, and with our eyes, as well as with our speech.

We communicate because we want to learn, we want to feel the warmth of another person, we want to unload and make room for new ideas and reasoning, and we want to be close and to feel connected. We don’t want to be alone.

This applies to young and old alike, but, with children, it’s imperative that we keep the lines of communication open and encourage them to share their thoughts and opinions. Granted, we are not going to like everything they say, but we have to have an opening, a way to start to reason with them and to break down the walls that are built between parent and child: walls of isolation, indifference, selfishness, and loneliness.

How can we break down these walls if we don’t know what our children think?

If we don’t know what they like?

If we don’t know that they’re having problems in school?

If we don’t know that they are being bullied?

If we don’t know that they have the right friends?

We have so many young ones who are so troubled, to the point that they end their own lives…

This so disturbing, and the only question on my mind is: WHY?

How do we fail them? Why don’t we understand them, and what will it take to do so?

What changes do we have to make as parents if our children are in danger? Do we even know that they are in danger?

So many questions! And we, as adults, have to find the answers.

So let’s begin, when they are young, by listening to them and spending time with them, and – most important of all – by learning to communicate with them.

It just might save their lives…

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Litsa Bolontzakis

Litsa Bolontzakis

Children's book and cookbook author Litsa Bolontzakis is an expert on Greek cooking and that culture's easy, simple way of life. Her desire is to help other families learn from her culture how to appreciate the simple things in life and grow to enjoy the seasons and the gifts they bring.

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